BJ (00:01)
Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of Privacy Tips, the sister podcast for stupid, sexy privacy. I'm your host, BJ Mendelson. Today's show is made possible by our friends at DuckDuckGo. So if you enjoy what we do, check out their DuckDuckGo subscription. It comes with a simple and easy to use VPN, identity theft protection, data removal service, and more. Additional information can be found at DuckDuckGo.com slash subscribe.

and some features offerings will vary based on your location. Now my friends, I grew up in the suburbs.

Now my friends, I grew up in the suburbs of New York City. So the Fox 5 public service announcement, it's 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are? Was something I heard a lot. And also whenever I did, it meant I should probably be asleep. I had school the next day, but you know, that was really hard when Fox 5 and some of the other stations had replays of Cheers, they had replays of Seinfeld later on, and they also had The Simpsons. It was really hard to go to sleep. If you liked.

If you were someone who fantasized about being a TV writer and you had these just amazing shows that were constantly on at 11 o'clock when you had school the next morning and you had to be up at 6 a.m., it was really hard to go to sleep. Anyway, I think I...

So anyway, I've been thinking a lot about how often people forget to shut down their device. It's 10 PM, do you know where your device is? And I feel like there might be something there and it's an idea we've been kicking around at Stupid Sexy Privacy. And so I've been thinking a lot about how often people forget to shut down their device. And I've been also thinking about good habits to create this part of doing a digital detox, which is some of what we're gonna build to. We're gonna build towards doing a digital detox. I give you the usual caveat that.

Those are really hard to do and they also don't really solve the problems of the world. know, like a digital detox is a good thing, but it's like a bandaid. It's not the solution. It's just one thing that you could do, but we should still do it. And so we're going to talk a lot about it as we get moving on privacy tips. At most places, we'll tell you to shut down your phone at least once a week. This way you can keep your device current with the latest security updates. But I think you should have a time each day where you shut down your devices.

preferably at least three hours before bed. Now I know a lot of people might say, my phone is my alarm clock, man, I can't do that. But you can. A DreamSky small digital alarm clock is a nice inexpensive replacement for your phone. It's what I use here in the George Carlin Memorial Podcast Studio.

But whatever you choose to use, you don't want any internet connected device in your bedroom. That's something we're gonna build to. And the first step to getting there is to turn off your phones every day, no later than 10 p.m. I turn mine off just after eight, so that can be asleep by 11 p.m. And that keeps me within the three hour rule of no screen time before bed. Yes, I know, there are gonna be exceptions to this.

And yes, I know there are gonna be days where you try to do this and stuff's just gonna happen. Like stuff's gonna go wrong or things go bonkers, whatever reason. It happens, it's cool. That's why when we first started talking about the digital detox at Stupid Sex and Privacy, we said the first rule is gonna be practicing self-compassion. So if you have to turn your phone back on, it's okay. You forgive yourself and you just try again the next day.

To help prevent problems in the future where you have to all of a sudden turn on your phone or you get flustered because your phone is off, the trick is to have a few exceptions, but not too many. This is good dating advice too, by the way. Everyone has a deal breaker, but if you have too many deal breakers, you'll find that you can never truly find someone to be happy with. So you only want a few deal breakers, not a lot. So for me, when it comes to my phone, I've got two key exceptions, right?

Number one, I think is understandable, which is if I have a new girlfriend and she wants to send me a picture of her dressed up like Wonder Woman, I would absolutely keep my phone on for that. Exception number two is if a family member isn't feeling well, I need to be accessible to help them out during that time. Ditto. You know, I'm not going to turn my phone off. Those are my two. And again, I want to emphasize those are only my two exceptions. So what you want to do is find out what your exceptions are. Then you're to pick a time, preferably no later than 10 p.m.

and make sure your friends and your family know about when you're no longer accessible. Some of you might still be saying, but I need to be accessible. And look, again, I hear you. So let's say you have a job, right? Where you can't just go dark. You can't just turn off your device. What do you do then? Well, the solution is to get a dumb phone to solve that problem. We are also going to talk a lot about dumb phones throughout this series. For right now, the best dumb phone for most people in most cases is the Nokia 2780 Flip.

But honestly, any dumb phone will do. And you might be asking, all well, why is the dumb phone okay and the smartphone is not? Because everything on your smartphone is designed to be addictive. Your dumb phone, ideally, is just designed to make calls. Like that's all it should do. You get a call, you answer the call, you hang up, that's it.

And like when it comes to smartphone, I acknowledge that these devices and apps serve as a way to relieve anxiety. know, there's this entire component here of like, you know, it's easier said than done to tell people not to use their smartphone because we live in anxious times. We all have anxiety about something, whether it's the climate or, you know, the fascist regime that's taken over the country. So I get that. And so it's true that these smartphones and these apps are a way to relieve anxiety for some people, you know, that they're a way to give you

pleasant distraction in an ugly and cruel world. There are also benefits of using these dumb apps. A lot of people don't realize that sometimes your brain just needs time to do like the heavy lifting. And so sometimes using something like Blue Sky or playing a game, whatever game it might be on your phone, there's nothing wrong with that because it's giving your brain time to, know, the process, the heavy things that needs a process. that's true. Like we're not.

discounting any of this. What we're saying though is, know, at a certain time, it's time to phone, it's ideally, at a certain time, we can get you to turn off the device for the day. Because we want you to remember, while all those positive things are true, it's also true that your smartphone is the way to control and pacify you, so that you can become to the larger world around you. We will not defeat fascists and weirdos this way. So as hard as doing a digital detox is,

And as hard as some of these steps are, we want to remind you that the detox is the beginning of your path to living in a world where everyone is free and treated with the dignity and respect they deserve. That's why I encourage you to try this tip out. And if there's going to be some discomfort, that's okay. It's okay to experience discomfort because you're working towards something greater than yourself.

So that's why I encourage you to try this tip out. And if you experience some discomfort, just remember that's okay. Like we're working together to build a better world. So there's absolutely gonna be moments of discomfort. There's gonna be things that suck that we have to do in order to make the world a better place for each other. So I hope that you will push past whatever that discomfort is and at least give this stuff a shot.

Today's episode of Privacy Tips was recorded in Hollywood, California and is sponsored by DuckDuckGo. It is written, produced, and hosted by me, BJ Mendelson. Before we go, I want to give a shout out to the production team at Stupid Sex and Privacy, which includes Andrew VanVoorhuis, Rosie Tran, and Amanda King, and of course, our friends at DuckDuckGo. If you enjoyed today's show, we hope you'll take a moment to leave a review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you may be listening. This won't take more than two minutes of your time.

You see, we have this crazy goal and we need your help to achieve it. We want 5 % of Americans to be 1 % better at protecting themselves from fascists and weirdos. Leaving us a review can help make that happen. That's because your reviews will help other people find the show. So please take a moment to leave us a review and we'll see you next time on Privacy Tips.